I don't often write about my work but tonight I will do so. But it's not what you're thinking. I love when kids cheat at boardgames. They do it in the funniest ways. Although their cheating is painfully obvious to adults, they think they are being so clever, and that cracks me up everytime.
CandyLand: Remember this bright and colorful game? A board covered in different types of candy! There's a tree made out of Gingerbread Plum, a house of Peanut Brittle, a lollipop forest, an ICE CREAM SEA, and if that's not enough, you win the game when you arrive at the Candy Castle. My stomach growls just looking at the pictures. By the way, the modern board is WAY more colorful, fun, and ethically-sensitive than the board I grew up with. But I digress. The other day a 5 year-old wanted to play this game with me. It's a simple concept. No dice. No counting. You pick a card, and go to the space that matches the color on the card. You can land on blue, red, green, etc. Or, if you're really skilled, I mean lucky, you get cards with Double Blue or Double Red, meaning you can advance faster. So, this little boy started switching turns. When it was a card he did not want, he'd announce, "Oh! It was your turn remember?" If I said, "ahh, no, that's your card," he'd reply, "nooooo I just went, it's your turn." Okay, whatever, it's CandyLand. I especially love when he lands on the "licorice sticks" which normally means you lose a turn. (That's what it means when I land on the licorice.) When he lands on the licorice, he announces, "this means I get to go again." "Really?" I reply, "because it says right here, lose a turn." He continues, "no it doesn't. Licorice is candy, so it means I get to bounce, I can jump on it, see, and bounce bounce bounce all the way to the other licorice sticks!" Sure kid, it's only CandyLand.
Chutes & Ladders: This one is equally as fun when a child decides to cheat. Basic concept: you land on a ladder, you get to climb it and advance quickly. You land on a chute (in the South we call them slides), and you slide all the way back to a lower place on the board. Ladders = Good. Chutes = Bad. It's not rocket science. I'll be darned if a 6 year old girl didn't decide she could climb from the middle of ladders. "It's okay if I just jump on the ladder from the middle of it." Actually no, the rules say you have to land at the exact end of a ladder in order to climb it but I don't remind her of this. Then she declared that she could climb up the chutes "because in real life I climb them at the playgound." After rolling a 4, she landed on another chute. However, she quickly said,"wait it was a 5." So I chime in with a smile, "it looks like a 4 to me." "No ma'am see I was over here on this spot (no she wasn't) and when I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I don't land on the chute (yes she does)." Sigh. Okay fine. Let's discuss multiplication, and I'll kick your little...
Go Fish: How does one cheat at Go Fish, you ask? Here's how. Hold onto your cards when you don't want to give them away. This is also called lying. My advice to the 8 year old who does this every week is this: If I ask for a 3, and you say "go fish", don't immediately ask me for a 3 on your very next turn. Side note: saying "but I just got it!" when you haven't had a turn yet, doesn't work either.
Jenga: ahhhh a game loved by kids and adults alike. You stack the blocks, then take turns sliding them out one by one, without knocking over the whole tower. Funniest competition ever: a 5 year old girl who just picked off the blocks from the very top. Meanwhile I'm sliding shaky blocks from every nook and cranny. Best part was when she said, "I'm so much better at this than you! You keep knocking them down and I haven't knocked one down yet!" BECAUSE YOU'RE CHEATING!
In case you're thinking I'm a push-over, you should know, I don't always let the kids cheat. When they do it consistently, I lay down some limits. "That is not following the rules. It's not fair when the rules change for you but not for everyone else. I'm going to choose not to play with you when you choose to cheat." Ooh, this usually signals the end of the game. ;-)
I think my frustration comes from a generational gap between me and these younger kids. They are addicted to video games, as we all know. Remember when you had to sit quietly in the doctor's office with nothing to do but annoy your older brother, and then get pinched by your mother? Nowadays, our tech-savvy kids have iPhones, iPads, portable DVD players, and iPods to keep themselves occupied. Kids don't have to learn to wait anymore. They just watch a movie for 15 minutes, play 50 rounds of NinjaFruit, or download the newest Taylor Swift song on their iPod. If you don't know how to wait, then cheating is just a hop, skip, and jump away. They don't know how to lose because they don't. They all get "participation" trophies in sports. And when they return glossy-eyed to their video games, they can hit "reset" or enter "cheat codes" so they never die, and never lose. These are the same kids who are fascinated by playing tennis on the Wii. Hey, guess what junior? You can go outside, walk to the park, and actually play tennis for real! Really!
I assume the generations before me complained about my generation being spoiled. We did have Atari and Highlights magazine for God's sakes. I vividly remember my mom telling me in the dentist's office, "stop moving around! Just sit here and find the missing objects in the Highlights magazine."
"But someone already circled them," I'd whine.
"I don't care," she'd say. "Find them again!"
So I'm sure my frustration with younger generations is not new. I don't like to lose though. But in the name of rapport-building, I keep losing, time and time again. So I have no other choice but to laugh at their creativity. Afterall, it's the only way I ever lose at something as mindless as CandyLand.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Happiness
"Happiness hit her like a train on a track.
Coming towards her, stuck still, no turning back."
Those are the opening lyrics to one of my newest favorite songs: Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine. I love this song for several reasons.
One, I love the bridge "Run fast for your mother/ run fast for your father / Run for your children all your sisters and brothers / Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can't carry it with you / if you want to survive." Those lines along with the quick beat make it a fantastic running song. I can listen to it over and over for a couple miles. Each time she says "run fast"; I do.
Second, it's a happy song. A song about the bad times being over, and get ready, cause here come the good times. At least that's what I think part of the song is about. The most obvious part anyway. I think the deeper meaning is the third, and biggest reason why I love this song.
The song opens with this lyric:
"Happiness / hit her / like a train on a track
Coming towards her / stuck still / no turning back
She hid around corners / and she hid under beds /
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled"
And it continues in the second verse with this:
Happiness / hit her / like a bullet in the back
Struck from /a great height
By someone /who should have known better / than that"
I think the protagonist of this story is much like me. She's terrified of happiness. She hid from it, she ran from it; but it still found her. And it didn't come to her quietly or gently. It came like a bullet to the back, a train on a track. Roaring, scorching, burning, striking, and of course, shockingly. She feels stabbed in the back by happiness. I get it.
Only those who have carried years of searching and dissatisfaction can truly understand the deeper message. Everyone has ups and downs. Life is neither fair nor perfect. But when you're used to being the underdog, the one tossed-aside, the black sheep, the ignored; happiness is not ever expected. And since it never comes, it seems very cruel.
Whenever someone asked me years ago if I was "happy", it made my stomach churn. I hated the word "happy". Happiness, to me, was so fleeting. I would respond, "I don't know about happy but I'm definitely content." Contentment is safe. It's comfy. It's on the fence between happiness and misery. So for most of my life I'd say, yes I was unhappy. For most of the past 6 years, I was content.
Then, last year, I cleaned house on my life. Miserable job? Leave it. Frenemies? Dump 'em. Unhealthy habits? Gone. Guilt for taking care of myself? Goodbye! "Like a bullet to the back" I, too, was hit by HaPpInEsS! Suddenly, I got it! Happy is sunshine! Clouds! Dancing! Flying! Breathing! Smiling! Singing! Can't wait for the morning! Can't wait to start the day! Can't wait to do something nice for someone! Loving every minute! Laughing! Everything going well! Everything falling into place! Everything aligned!
And holy hell, that was the scariest feeling I've ever had!!!! I called my mother and said, "I've never felt so happy, and yet I have this sick feeling feeling in my stomach carrying the biggest fear I've ever had." Happy is a scary place. It's only at the top that you realize, oh crap, the only direction from here is down. Perhaps that makes me an eternal pessimist. I don't know. I just know that's what I hear in the words of that song. Someone else terrified of happiness. Loving it, enjoying it, being freed by it; and yet terrified of what it really means.
And in fact, the protagonist knows what it means. She urges you to run away, fast! "You can't carry it with you if you want to survive," she calls. She knows no one survives happiness. The only view from the bottom is the top; and the only view from the top is the bottom. You decide which is the better view, and which you find yourself running from.
(c) LMS 2011
Coming towards her, stuck still, no turning back."
Those are the opening lyrics to one of my newest favorite songs: Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine. I love this song for several reasons.
One, I love the bridge "Run fast for your mother/ run fast for your father / Run for your children all your sisters and brothers / Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can't carry it with you / if you want to survive." Those lines along with the quick beat make it a fantastic running song. I can listen to it over and over for a couple miles. Each time she says "run fast"; I do.
Second, it's a happy song. A song about the bad times being over, and get ready, cause here come the good times. At least that's what I think part of the song is about. The most obvious part anyway. I think the deeper meaning is the third, and biggest reason why I love this song.
The song opens with this lyric:
"Happiness / hit her / like a train on a track
Coming towards her / stuck still / no turning back
She hid around corners / and she hid under beds /
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled"
And it continues in the second verse with this:
Happiness / hit her / like a bullet in the back
Struck from /a great height
By someone /who should have known better / than that"
I think the protagonist of this story is much like me. She's terrified of happiness. She hid from it, she ran from it; but it still found her. And it didn't come to her quietly or gently. It came like a bullet to the back, a train on a track. Roaring, scorching, burning, striking, and of course, shockingly. She feels stabbed in the back by happiness. I get it.
Only those who have carried years of searching and dissatisfaction can truly understand the deeper message. Everyone has ups and downs. Life is neither fair nor perfect. But when you're used to being the underdog, the one tossed-aside, the black sheep, the ignored; happiness is not ever expected. And since it never comes, it seems very cruel.
Whenever someone asked me years ago if I was "happy", it made my stomach churn. I hated the word "happy". Happiness, to me, was so fleeting. I would respond, "I don't know about happy but I'm definitely content." Contentment is safe. It's comfy. It's on the fence between happiness and misery. So for most of my life I'd say, yes I was unhappy. For most of the past 6 years, I was content.
Then, last year, I cleaned house on my life. Miserable job? Leave it. Frenemies? Dump 'em. Unhealthy habits? Gone. Guilt for taking care of myself? Goodbye! "Like a bullet to the back" I, too, was hit by HaPpInEsS! Suddenly, I got it! Happy is sunshine! Clouds! Dancing! Flying! Breathing! Smiling! Singing! Can't wait for the morning! Can't wait to start the day! Can't wait to do something nice for someone! Loving every minute! Laughing! Everything going well! Everything falling into place! Everything aligned!
And holy hell, that was the scariest feeling I've ever had!!!! I called my mother and said, "I've never felt so happy, and yet I have this sick feeling feeling in my stomach carrying the biggest fear I've ever had." Happy is a scary place. It's only at the top that you realize, oh crap, the only direction from here is down. Perhaps that makes me an eternal pessimist. I don't know. I just know that's what I hear in the words of that song. Someone else terrified of happiness. Loving it, enjoying it, being freed by it; and yet terrified of what it really means.
And in fact, the protagonist knows what it means. She urges you to run away, fast! "You can't carry it with you if you want to survive," she calls. She knows no one survives happiness. The only view from the bottom is the top; and the only view from the top is the bottom. You decide which is the better view, and which you find yourself running from.
(c) LMS 2011
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